Chords of Blue

Numbers 15:38-40
38 "Speak to the people of Israel, and tell them to make tassels on the corners of their garments 39 And it shall be a tassel for you to look at and remember all the commandments of the LORD, to do them, not to follow after your own heart and your own eyes, which you are inclined to whore after. 40 So you shall remember and do all my commandments, and be holy to your God.

Last summer I did a study with my good friend Mal. We went through the topic of Faith with Beth Moore in her study "Believing God." To begin the book, she gave us this verse to think about and consider as we began the study, and as we began to live a life where we Believe God for what He says, for who He is, and for what He can and will do. Holiness is a big topic...but this verse captured my heart, especially.
Last year was a hard year for me spiritually. Leaving college left me empty-handed in some ways: no friends, no church, no discipleship, no accountability, nothing but the Lord. Though a difficult transition, it was PERFECT. God used last year to strip away all the things I'd clung to, all the things I thought gave me the perfect equation of knowing God. But do you know what equation really works for me? Kelli + God. Nothing else. Same for you! __ + God. All it takes. All the things/people I had in college were so good- and it was so very needed. But it is NOT what my relationship with Jesus stands on. I was trying to make it Kelli + Stacy + Deb + Bible study + Leading Bible study + daily hours in the word + hours of prayer + retreats or conferences + + + = Relationship with God. Man, my faith has been brought back to it's organic, simple roots. Thank God for training in all those things - it's now foundational in me. But if I dont have them every day, I'm still okay because I KNOW JESUS!

Okay, that was a tangent. Anyways...back to last summer's study. One morning Mal and I decided to make blue chords of our own - we made bracelets! These were to serve the purpose of reminding us to question: am I following the commands of the Lord, or am I seeking my own desires? Am I running after holiness or am I whoring (strong language - but it's definately true) after things that lead to my ruin?

Well, Mal - the bracelet still stands strong. I think there is a REASON it has not fallen off my wrist yet. I'm not saying it will fall off only after my life is "perfect" - that will never happen on earth! I'm just thinking perhaps it's still there to remind me of my original commitment, my desire for holiness, and my commitment with and to Mal.

The bracelet is hanging on by threads. In the same way, I will be beaten and battered by life, and my tassels in the end will be torn and withered away. But my hope is that my Spirit will remain strong, that my Spirit will be growing in holiness, and that I will be a walking, living, and one day dying testimony of God's power in a life.