It's 6:00pm...and Im WHERE???

It's 6:00pm, and Im still sitting in the office. Been here since 6:55am.
Yep. That's my life.



Galations 6:9 "Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we
will reap if we do not grow weary."

New Meaning to A Common Phrase

This blog is inspired by my friend Emily C. in Arizona. Emily has faithfully "given her life away" to many women I know and has made an impact on my faith, my personality, and my life.

For any and all of you who have had "Navigator" training or background, I guarantee you have heard this said many times: "giving your life away." This weekend, I learned that giving my life away does not and will not always look exactly the same.

I first heard this phrase early in my college years. During these last two years, God has given me the vision and opportunity to begin giving my life away in order that other women may grow in their faith and share Christ with people. Discipleship has come to be at the center of my heart and where my passion in life remains. I long to see women drawn near to the Lord, drinking deeply of His waters, and feeding people around them with the Bread of Truth about who Christ is.

This year, God has taken and placed me in a job and community far different from the college students I found myself surrounded by these last four years. This year has been filled with getting to know my husband Marcus, growing in relationship with my sister in law Joni and her husband Derek, talking with my sisters long distance as they are in college, seeing extended family for birthdays and holidays, and spending time with both Marcus' parents and my own. I work in an environment of hectic, fast-paced movement that allows for little to no conversation about topics outside of our job. I have found myself wondering "God, how do I attempt to give my life away in these settings?

Well, this weekend, my heart realized its place here. I have the amazing opportunity to witness the growth of a small child, my neice Miya Karin Pine. Sometimes I feel like my heart could not love her more, it nearly bursts as though she were my own! I have watched her take her first few steps, make her first attempts at forming words, and it is a joy to watch her discover our world. She has such a desire to learn, to imitate, to befriend. She soaks up anything and everything placed in front of her or in her hands.

And this got me thinking...what better age to begin praying for, loving on, and speaking truth to a person than at 2 years old? The things she learns now will be her foundation for life. Even though she wont remember much of it, she will have certain thing engrained in her personality and thoughts whether good or bad. I feel so fortunate to hold her, speak or sing in her sweet little ears, to dance to the Wiggles together, to teach Gizmo tricks, lay in bed with her as she falls asleep, hold her so tight as she says "Miya-hold you!" (her version of "Kelli, hold me"), and tell her who Jesus is. I pray God would give us rich years with this child, and fruitful, meaningful conversations and life experiences with her father and mother, Joni and Derek. God has given me a blessing and I pray I take no time for granted but make the most of today.

It is exciting to watch God develop new and exciting ways to "give my life away" to those around me. I pray this will be a never-ending pattern in my life.

To those of you who have been a part of this, you have blessed me more than I can ever expect or imagine to bless you. You push me to new levels, and you have molded and changed me into the woman I am today. I LOVE YOU ALL!

This World is NOT My Home...

I have chosen this picture to depict my GREATEST DREAM. Wouldn't it me amazing, simply a-to-the-mazing, if everyone on earth lived their lives with this mentality? Oh, yeah... let me fill you in...

1 Kings 13:7 "Then the king said to the man of God, "Come home with me and refresh yourself, and I will give you a reward.""

John 18:36 "Jesus answered, "My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, then My servants would be fighting so that I would not be handed over to the Jews; but as it is, My kingdom is not of this realm." "

1 Peter 2:11a "Dear brothers and sisters, you are foreigners and aliens here..."

Wow. Think about that. Do you really, honestly, whole-heartedly live like these people on the right? I want to start my life running like Im running away from this world and its ways and heading straight into the arms of God. Let's join the traffic, my fellow Jesus-Freaks, and go after it!

God, thank you for such a neat picture of what it could look like if we were all running after you, all on the same road headed in the same direction. I pray it becomes a traffic jam, that there are SO MANY people on the road to LIFE that it is jam packed!

My "Real World" Experience

This one's for all you college students out there. . . and for all of you who were, at one time, college students!

It is incredible the way I have found my perspective and view of the world to change as I have left the "college bubble" to enter what many call "the real world." In college, there were only few distinct moments I can recall knowing, actually knowing what was going on in the world. I remember sitting on my roomate's chair in my dormroom freshman year watching the horrific sight of the second plane hitting the second World Trade Center tower. I remember hanging out in my dorm room with Amy, Marcus, and Ben watching the 2004 Presidental Elections until the wee hours of the morning. Other than those two experiences, my life revolved around what events took place on campus or life experiences that myself or people in close proximity to me lived through.

Today, and most every day of the week, I sit at my computer and I am astonished. Our world is so full of everyday events, national news, and huge displays of GOD ALMIGHTY. As I read the update for today, Thursday September 22nd 2005, it is obvious to me that God wants the glory! He wants the fear and trembling of people in this generation, as well as those past and yet to come. And greater yet, He wants sin to be KILLED, for sin in our lives to be put to death. I have often pondered on topics of mass-destruction: the World Trade Center/Pentagon/Pennsylvania terrorism, the tsunami in Southern Asia, the bombings in Japan and London, the earthquakes in Chile, tornados destroying entire towns, and hurricanes that rip through the greatest cities in America? I have especially thought long on whhhhy, for what purpose? Though I will never know, I have my own ideas of what might be occuring. In all my years of walking with the LORD and living through the ups and downs of life, I have seen and I believe that nothing is outside of the will or hands of God. Though destroyed and demolished, God will restore and build up again-stronger than before. I think of Southern Asia and my mind sees: poverty, caste systems, child and women forced-sex industries, Buddhism, Hinduism, idol worship, self-mutilation, and people selling themselves to everything but the LORD GOD. I think this was a wake-up call and an oppportunity for God to show that He WILL destroy if it means it can be rebuilt stronger. God has opened wide the doors of opportunity for countless people to share Jesus Christ and salvation with the lost, confused, and hurt people in that region. It is already spreading, and I cant wait to WAIT on God, to see His purposes played out in this region of the world. And do we as Americans think we are that lucky, that we will miss out on the righteous anger and purposes of God??? I love the verse that says "The proud will be humbled before the LORD..." I believe that God uses "nature" to wake people up! The horrific events of September 11th, Hurricane Katrina, and possibly Hurricane Rita are just small, small ways that God is trying to get our attention! WAKE UP, O MY PEOPLE! TURN YOUR BACKS ON IDOLS, MATERIALISM! RUN TO ME AND WORSHIP ME! And rightly so, my goodness! If entire communities and people groups can be wiped off of this earth in the span of less than a minute, who are we to think we can control the days of our lives?

This season of being in the "real world" has taught me many more things, but that is a blog to come. These thoughts have been reeling in my mind all day, and I had to find some relief! Before i go, I do want to say that this is in NO WAY intended to nullify or sting those who lost loved ones in these tragedies. That is still an aspect I cannot fully comprehend. The only thing I can do is remember that my God chose to give of His own flesh and blood, His own soul and spirit, HIS OWN SON as a sacrifice for so many people. There had to be a pure sacrifice for salvation and freedom to come. He sacrificed an innocent, holy, and sinless man for the sins of the world. Before, only select few people were able to walk with God, to experience Him or hear of Him. Now, because of DEATH of Jesus, everyone who chooses and confesses can live in relationship with the living God any time, any day, any way and all the time, no questions asked. Why would I question why God chooses innocent people to die? I must believe it is for a greater plan than I can fully grasp in this lifetime. I just want to portray that we serve an AWESOME GOD, and if we dont serve Him now, He will COMMAND it of us when we meet Him face to face when this world ends and we enter eternity.

Thank you, O my Jesus for saving me and for redeeming me. I thank you even more God, that you have a plan to redeem your world, the world that YOU created. You deserve our worship and our lives. Thank you for letting me exit college life and enter this new season. Without that, I would have continued to live in a bubble. I pray that you would constantly change the seasons of all our lives, that we might be dropped on our faces and given the opportunity to once again depend on you rather than ourselves. You are WORTHY Jesus. Worthy is the Lamb who was slain. WoRthY!

What I Learned From Disney

Who would have thought that a Disney-made movie would hold such revelation for me to discover? And thank God for inspiring someone who works for Disney to take a "leap of faith" and create a fairytale-esk movie of a Biblical and very real story! On Wednesday night I watched "The Prince of Egypt" with my husband and my 2-year-old-on-Saturday niece. During and after my viewing of the movie, my heart has been stirring with new truths. Join me as I explore...

I have never really stopped to think about "timing." And I dont mean in the sense like "Oh, the timing isnt right" or "I wish I had had better timing on that one." I am talking about a much greater meaning of the word. Have you ever stopped to think about how long, really just how LONG 400 years is? Think about how much has happened in THIS CENTURY alone. That is only 1/4 the amount. We're talking about all of the events and happenings from 1600 to 2000. When I stop and think about it, I can only wrap my mind around bits and pieces of what has really happened in that span of history. During the movie, my mind was stretched out a bit.

The Israelites experienced slavery for about 400 years during the time before Moses was born. FOUR HUNDRED YEARS. Never before have I realized how long of a time that is. As I was watching, I started to realize the skeptical Israelites really did have a reason to be skeptics! I started to put myself in their situation. Say that I was born just a few years before Moses was a shepherd. I am born into slavery, growing up being toted around on my mother's back as she draws water or mixes dirt or sweeps the grounds for Pharoah's people. For years and years this becomes all that I know: slavery. No freedom, no choice, no opportunity for change. Then there is another side of my story. All of my life I've grown up with the stories. I've heard all about God and His greatness, I've heard rumors of what miracles He has performed. Yet in all of my days, in all of my parent's days, and perhaps in the last four or more generations of my family, we have never even once experienced anything of this God the stories spoke of. Perhaps they are as real to me as the fairytales of our time are to kids. "Sure, great story. But totally not real."

Then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Moses, a son in Pharoah's household, kills a man. He runs for his life into the desert, never to be seen again (or so people think). Things change, life goes back to normal...except for the man in the desert.

This is where my perspective shifts to Moses. I now put myself in his shoes. Wandering in the desert must be a real trip, dont you think? HA! Here I am, wandering with no one. I am all alone, all alone to weep through my disgraceful act, shaming myself into oblivion. Who can change what I have done? Who can forgive a man like me? What am I even living for? (Ever been there? Ever felt like that? I sure have.) Finally, but some stroke of luck, I am taken in by a free people group, taught how to live peacefully, how to shepherd sheep, how to live for something other than myself and my desires. I am looking at life with a totally new perspective. I am learning how to care for animals who are stubborn and stupid enough to wander off by themselves and to get stuck in situations they cannot get out of themselves. I love this new life, I love the pace of it, yet why? What can my life be worth? What am I doing here?

Then it happens. While rescuing one lost sheep, God speaks to me. God of all the stories that I have heard growing up, God who makes fire from a bush that never gets scorched. GOD ALMIGHTY. I AM. (Okay, Im jumping back to Kelli now!) This is where I experience the very realness of Moses' life story, of the biblical story that I've read many times growing up. As I watch the movie, I watch how powerful, how powerful it must have been to experience the voice of God in that cave of the mountain. As God's voice fades, Moses exhales as though he has been holding his breath for a time, and one single tear drips down out of his awe-inspired eyes. (If you havent seen this, watch this part-just this part-to experience what it's really like to meet God like that. It will move you.) Wow. Wow. Here is where I can just hear Moses' thoughts aloud: "And not only that, but God has given me a new purpose for my days and called me to something so great I never would have thought it possible. Free the people of Israel? But that's all they know! That's all they have ever experienced, that is all they expect out of life. And who am I? I cant even speak without stuttering, I will be looked upon as a murderer, and my brother Pharoah will think I have denied him, turned my back to take another's side. ME???"

And so it is. Most of you know the rest of the story. But I have just been thinking, WOW, how amazing it must be that God would be so still and let so much hurt suffering, death, and toil happen to His people for that amount of time, but then bust back onto the scene in such glory and power.

I reflect on my own life and see that I tend to live the "instant pleasure" life. Whether or not it is my own selfishness or my American-engrained culture, it consumes me. Why do I think that God is against me if He chooses to be silent for a season, sometimes I get mad even if it's just for a few weeks! It is easy to think that I can have what I want when I want, and that just transfers right over to spiritual things as well. But, God doesnt work like that! I have learned a great many lessons from this movie, nay from the Bible which is the very root of the movie. Mostly, I have learned that I cannot put a leash on God. I cannot forget what God has done for me, even if it was years ago! Who am I to assume that God is gone or away or forsaking me just because I dont hear from Him or see Him clearly for one season of my life? And who am I to say or think that my life has no purpose as His child? There are so many thoughts to ponder as I think about this and many more "ponderous" moments from the movie.

Join me next time, as I explore the thoughts on why I believe God took me through my most recent "season" of this summer.

Again, thank you for reading.

KB