Monday, October 31, 2005

I Welcome Your Thoughts...

Hey All-

I have a few things on my mind to study right now, and one of them is "new testament prophecy" or prophecying. I welcome any of your thoughts/suggestions/verses/ideas as you can offer them. This weekend we looked at 1 Corinthians 14:1 which says "Pursue love, yet desire earnestly spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy." I heard someone say that there is a difference between the old testament meaning and the new testament meaning.

I am excited to explore on my own, but I welcome anyone else's thoughts about this topic. Im excited to explore together!

The Way Things Work Out

So, today I've been thinking a lot about my life. Mostly I have been captivated by the way God works things out for our good, but ultimately for HIS glory. My friend Joanna is the source of my thinking. We were talking about our friendship and how strange it is! Seriously, Joanna and I have never lived in the same town, we've never gone to the same school, and we've never spent longer than 10 weeks in the same place together. How is it that we can have such a great friendship? It's fun how God binds our hearts to others...and how He can do that with complete strangers who spend most of their relationship separated from one another.

Anyways. I want to reflect on the year 2003-2004 of college. That fall, God radically shook up "my plans" and made them His own. I had high hopes of a new relationship blossiming into the "it" relationship, of spending my next summer learning how to cook, and of enjoying the rest of that year living with three of my bestest friends. But...God had other things in mind. And it's interesting that when He breaks our hearts to break us down, He builds us back up stronger than ever before.

When that relationship ended, I felt the rest of my year/life would end! (Yes, Im overdramatic.) But the VERY NEXT DAY God revealed I was not alone, and He revealed that my plans were not His plans. I received a phone call from Noehren Hall asking me to take a fill-in Resident Assistant position on third floor. I had been put on a waiting list when I applied in the spring, so I had pretty much closed the door on that being an option. Immediately I thought "God, this is you. What are you doing in my life?" So I said yes to that and no to living with my friends. Two days before, I said to myself "If this relationship doesnt work out, Im applying for SMR next summer." Well, I also turned in my application and was accepted as a student leader that very week! And that started it all...

If I had not become an RA, I would not have been stretched in my faith. I would not know how to relate, love, and live with people so stark-opposite of me. I would not have gained the heart I have for the lost. I would not have grown in deep friendship with the women in my life. I would not have decided to live with Amy Schnell the next fall. And I would not have gone to A330 in March where I met Joanna. And finally, we would not have met at SMR and become lifelong friends. (PS-I also happened to "accidentally" meet my husband-to-be there as well!)

Isnt it amazing how God takes one season of suffering or loss or heartache and uses it to rebuild us into a stronger person in Him than we ever would have guessed? God is so good to us!

Today I have been reminded to wait on God. When I am in a season like that again, I want to trust that God has something in store for my life, and He has a way to use me to give Him greater glory than my plans would allow for. As I keep processing even now, I would not have so many things: the lessons I learned as an RA got me the job that I have right now; I would not have learned about the sin in my life if I had not lived with Amy; I would not have the deeper relationships with my parents that I have now; I would not have the heart to give and give freely if I hadnt met or seen this displayed in my in-laws. I would not have the greatest friends in the world that we've found in Joni and Derek-they give and would give anything for us; I would not have a niece who teaches me more about childlike faith and love and discipleship (i hope that one blossoms as the years go by) than anyone in my life; I would not have married the love of my life; I would not know God in the way I know Him now; I would not BE who I am today without God changing my plans into His own.

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness." Psalm 115:1

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Lessons of Truth

Today I've learned a few things about pointing out the sin in others.

Please read Matthew 7:3 (or the whole chapter for context) before going on. Click on the title of this blog for a link to the scripture online. The focus here is really on this verse, so it makes no sense unless you've read it...

It's not so easy to notice a speck. It's almost like we have to go looking for it. Sometimes, we'll just catch a glimpse of something that doesnt appear to be quite right, and then we investigate, hoping to find the thing that could be "off". That is what it's like! We look for it, we perceive that it's there, and we finally see that it is there. It consumes us!

Then the other issue is the log in our own eye. How in the WORLD do we look past a log? It's the easiest thing to see, you cant hardly miss a log in the known world. It's not really something that we have to look for. It's just THERE. We can fully observe that it's there, without much effort in looking.

Isnt it interesting that we can look past the log, the obvious thing in the way, and start examining and searching until we find that itty bitty little speck in the other person's eye?
Wow, what a revelation for me. This has challenged me to start asking God to give me new eyes, that I might see those logs in my life before I go searching and examining the other person.

PS-for those of you who are married or preparing to get married or who have hopes that one day you may be married, this is a great lesson to learn NOW. Just ask Marcus, my husband...the greatest annoyance might be communication, but second to that he would honestly tell you that he hates that I pick him apart sometimes, like he cant do anything right. Well, it's because Im "speck-hunting"! I have learned a great lesson today.

I hope this spurs many others on. I desire for truth to be kept in the inmost being, and this is a new one for me. What joy to walk with the Lord! Every day there's something to learn...
Blessings-
KB

Joanna...


Yep. This is Joanna. She is probably one of the coolest friends I've got. We can be serious, we can be crazy, we can laugh together, we can cry together. We can do it all. I want to write all about her, I want you to KNOW her, and I want to do justice to the impact she has had in my life.

Today I logged onto her blog, and there was my face! I couldnt believe it. Joanna blessed me entirely by telling how I have affected her life. Well, I would like all of YOU to read it to, just to see the depth of our friendship. She is awesome, and pretty much everything she said of ME is true of HER.

Joanna, you are gonna change lives. You've already changed mine. I wouldnt have experienced what I did or done what I did that summer had you not been right there by my side. It takes two to tango, and it takes two to have a friendship. I have no doubt in my mind that we will continue to impact the kingdom of God TOGETHER, even though we will be half the world away from each other for the next two years.

Please read Jo's entry by clicking her name-the title of this entry. Read it knowing that God used Joanna to mold me into His child that summer, and know that Joanna's words/thoughts/actions ignited a fire in me for God that I had never had. She is a blessing, and together we are a powerhouse.

Im gonna miss ya Jo. But no matter what, we'll always have SMR '04 and each other. And we'll always be able to get down on our faces together in prayer. . . even from miles away.

Faithful till the end~
KB

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

All or Nothing

This weekend I attended Main Event, an annual conference in Cedar Falls for collegiate students. It was my 5th Main Event experience, and wow. . . the title of the weekend says it all.

This weekend, the focus was John 15:5 "Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing."

I came away from this weekend with a new and greater understanding of what it means to know Jesus, to know the Living God, the One and Only. Why do I go through life thinking I can pick and choose the times that I draw near to Him? Or why do I think that I can do things on my own, and why do I try and control or rule everything in my life? God wants me to REMAIN in Him. Not remain in myself.

I also realized that I go through life just longing and trying to produce fruit. I get so frustrated and beat myself up, when really - it's not hard to produce fruit! It happens NATURALLY. I cannot force it. So I went back to the source. . . it is God. It is not me who will produce fruit, it is God. And the only way that I will see it happen in my life is if I remain in Him. Mmmmm. I love new truth.

The greatest moments of this weekend were learning the length of my life. You can too! Okay, as you read this, pause for a moment. Take a deep breath in, and let it out. . . did you do it? THAT is how long your life is. Our lives are but a breath; are we living it with ALL that we have? Or are we just running aimlessly toward the end? It will come quick; I want to make the most of these days. The other greatest moment was thinking of my life as an equation. Me+nothing else=a big fat ZERO at the end. Me+God=EVERYTHING. God can do anything; all authority belongs to Him! And even if you take me out of the picture (for God doesnt need me to accomplish anything. . . He is going to do it no matter what) you still have this equation: God+nothing=EVERYTHING! For example: God alone, with nobody around to teach Him, to guide Him, to imagine it, created the UNIVERSE in a word. With just His words He spoke the earth and everything in it into existence.

How am I going to live my life? Is it going to be ALL that I have? Or will I give NOTHING and come to the end with a zero on my scorecard? I want to KNOW Jesus, I want to stop looking for what God might be doing, stop looking for His miracles and majestic displays. . . I want to KNOW HIM personally. Psalm 27:4, 8 "One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD And to meditate in His temple. When You said, "Seek My face," My heart said to You, "Your face, Lord, I will seek." David is referred to as a "man after God's own heart." I want my life to stop seeking out the things of God-the created-and to start focusing on God Himself-the Creator. I believe that intimacy and friendship with God will be the start to a fruitful life.

God, would you use me in my breath of a lifetime. Would you keep me on this earth no longer than needed; would the length of my life be only the time you need to expand your kingdom through me. God, would you water me and grow me, and would fruit naturally pop out of me in this world. I pray you would give me the easy ones God, that I may meet people ripe and ready for picking. Challenge me, strengthen me, and use me even today. Amen.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

God Provides

Wow, here is a blog entry that I never published...but it's worth it.

So today I was reading a "stranger's" blog. She left a comment on my blog, I linked up to her blog, and now it's like being a close friend...to a stranger! How ironic is that? Blogs really make the world smaller.

Anyways...

She is really frustrated about not finding a job since moving from the midwest to the California coast. I would feel the same way. In fact, I have felt the same way, and I know many people who could pipe in right about now. That got me thinking of how much I have seen God provide.

Even though I could share a hundred stories, I will share the most recent. My husband and I were both feeling strapped on cash. (Funny random interjection: what does that mean really...feeling "strapped on cash"? I welcome any suggestions.) We were still able to pay our bills, get the loan payments in, etc. But we were starting to wonder "God, how are we going to buy food and other basics this month? It's almost gone!" That very day, God showed me how it works! It's all HIM, it is never ME or US. It's HIM. My accounts payable lady came up to me and told me that there had been a mistake...too much money had been deducted from my last paycheck for health insurance. So she intended to pay the difference on this paycheck...and it was just enough money that God revealed to me how truly and uniquely and mysteriously He wants and WILL provide for his peeps.

So, this one goes out to you, Princess. Yes, you know who you are. God is watching over you, as always. You are loved whatever you go through. (I stole that from a song on the radio today) He is going to get you that job, but in the meantime-He's got another part of the "adventure" of life to take you on!

Thanks God. You provide my words and my breath daily. You are beautiful, my sweet Savior.

I'm Back!

Yes, it has been a very long time since I've added anything cool or interesting to my blog! Sorry, to my faithful but few readers! I will try and do better.

After two weeks in production-earning myself a sweaty body, dirty everything, sore muscles kind of life, I am now back to my office job. I do miss wearing sweatshirts and jeans to work, but I am glad to have my email and internet back!

Thanks for looking in on me. I will do my best to keep this better updated and share more of my "daily lessons" and thoughts with you all.

Have a great Hump Day!

KB