A Day of Remembrance and Reflection

This post goes out to all my girls who are hurting, who are mourning, and who are desiring freedom in the Lord. I have two close friends who are deeply desiring to be FREE, and it stirs in my heart old issues, old experiences, and remembrances of times when I longed to be free. Free from hurt, free from pain, free from my own sin, you know the story. Today has been a day of reflection and somber attitude. I just cant shake this feeling of sadness and hurt. Im right there with you sisters. I think God's way of using me is through mercy - I literally "feel" what you all feel. Deeply. Sometimes, even my husband will ask and pry to what is "wrong" with me, but my answer always comes up empty. Sometimes I dont even KNOW why I feel the way I do - but God has molded me to believe that it's His way of keeping my attitude of prayer and my Spirit of service connected to your lives.

So to A.L.D and J.K.S. these words go out to you -

As I bow my head To hide the wave of grief I feel Your steady gaze And know You know my need.
I'm crying and alone Often feeling of no use I'm broken and ashamed So sick of the abuse.
I see the cross, the sacrifice The man suffering for me. I thank You for Your son, Lord Who died to set me free .
I pray that You would hold me That You'd heal me inside out I ask You to transform me That I would not stray or doubt .
Lord I know You're watching over me That You hold me in Your hand So I'm clinging to the promise That I'll see the promised land
Hanni (a blog post I found today)

Forgiving does not mean forgetting. When we forgive a person, the memory of the wound might stay with us for a long time, even throughout our lives. Sometimes we carry the memory in our bodies as a visible sign. But forgiveness changes the way we remember. It converts the curse into a blessing. When we forgive our parents for their divorce, our children for their lack of attention, our friends for their unfaithfulness in crisis, our doctors for their ill advice, we no longer have to experience ourselves as the victims of events we had no control over.Forgiveness allows us to claim our own power and not let these events destroy us; it enables them to become events that deepen the wisdom of our hearts. Forgiveness indeed heals memories.
Henri Nouwen (also found on a blog today -it's obvious my day is all interconnected by God's mighty hand!!!)

Friends, I love you and am praying for you today.

Lord, thank you for the spiritual gift of mercy. Though I sometimes see it as a burden, or complain about crying so much, you use this gift to minister to others in my life. It is worth it for their sake, and for your glory, O Lord. God, would you keep JKS at peace and wrapped in your loving arms as she sleeps now, and would you awaken her with great purpose, vision, and drive for the last day of January. Lord, I ask that ALD would experience freedom and revival in her heart. I ask that you draw her intimately into your presence, and that she would see herself through the eyes of Christ. Shield us from lies, guilt, and shame, O Lord, for your name's sake. I love you Lord, and trust in your promises and ask for your will to be done in my friends' lives. Amen.