Going Deep: February 2006

The Title...

...says it all.

God is really taking me in deep. All the way deep, clear down into the deepest of deep of my heart and soul. I feel like I'm in counseling, and it's intense. But God is helping me discover rooms in me that need cleaning out. I feel like I'm going to be a new person when all is said and done.
Confused? As am I. Basically I've been really good at hiding from pain in my life, really good at projecting expectations and demands on others, and really good at listening to lies about who I am, but most importantly - who God is. We've got some cleaning to do!
Basically, A.S. and L.A. are two of the most AWESOME women in my life. I just met one of them, and the other I dont deserve to even call my friend, yet they are like the sweet fragrance of Christ in my life. Thank God that He uses each of us to do the works of His hands for His glory.

Ooh...and quote for the week (not exactly word for word, but it'll do) that I've been so excited to meditate upon today:

"The degree to which we are willing to work through times and pains of suffering is the degree to which God will use us to comfort others experiencing the same thing."
Based on 2 Cor. 1:3-7

I LOVE that God's grace is so great that He goes beyond healing us and forgiving us and extending comfort upon us. He goes so far as to use the sin/suffering/persecution we've experienced in our lives to then comfort others, with the same extent of comfort we've received from the Lord.

Going Deep is a choice. It's a choice how deep we are willing to go. I pray God would always empower me to go to a great degree of depth, in order that I may better help others in their pain when the time comes. I dont want to dip my toe in the pool, I want to dive all the way in. No pain, no gain. Thanks Lord for your faithfulness, and thanks ladies, for being willing to walk with me step by step.

Sunflowers and Son Flowers

Okay, so another stolen/borrowed blog entry. I was reading this this morning, and Im not sure whether or not the author understood the spiritual sense behind her writing. But I did. And it's pretty awesome. We're all different, we're all unique - if we're sowing seeds for the Lord, He's going to cultivate new believers. But the end result should not and will not be "identical" believers. Our unique methods are to be admired, just as much as unique believers are. This weekend, I had a young woman tell me "I dont want to be a "christian" if it means I look like them." Them=the other christian girls around her. She was crying out to be DIFFERENT, to be UNIQUE, to be known as a lover of Jesus, a radical liver of Truth, not just a "christian" - a term used more and more loosely by many in American culture. So check it out, and let me know your thoughts...

"There are two methods recommended for sowing the [sunflower] seeds. Place them in individual holes, or scatter and rake them into the soil randomly. Being the inquisitive type, I planted half the seeds one way, and half the other way....It's interesting, there were two methods of planting the seeds. But both supposedly give results. The growth pattern might look a bit different, with the individually placed and planted seeds possibly turning into more linear plants, and the randomly raked seeds producing a more organic look.But, whichever method used, the end product will still be some big cheery yellow flowers, whose faces turn toward the sun at all times."

Revelation 12:11

"And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death."

This is my new verse for LIFE. I LOVE it. It's full of power - power of Jesus, power of the Spirit.
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So, I love the way the Lord breaks into my everyday life. Like today - giving me this verse as I randomly ran into it online, reading about someone else's life. And how He is so close and near to me, so intimate with me. I am struggling with a bit of winter blues. Just feeling lonely, missing my friends, wanting companionship 24-7 but not having time for it, feeling lonely at work, and missing the sunshine. Im just blue! Yet even still, God has prepared a way for me. Tonight, Im heading to a retreat where I'll be making myself available to women; to pray for them, to spend time with them, to have fun with them, and to share my life with them. Even though Im a "leader" - Im assuming God will teach me more than I can ever hope to do for others. And in three weeks, Marcus and I will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary (whoa- yay!) up north, doing something we've never done: we're going skiing and snowboarding! It's good and needed to try something new with the one you love, something neither of you have ever done before. We're hoping anyway! And then there are two weekends we've been offered a trip to a marriage retreat. We might even just do both retreats! We always need to learn more, to be in fellowship with others, and to grow as a couple, as one.

So God is really making love, opportunity, and Himself available to me in the coming weeks. I just pray I will continue to give glory to Him, and to hold out for the ultimate prize. Even though these days are lonely, they are short in comparison to the everlasting life I will get to spend in His company for eternity.

Thanks Lord. You've made my day. You've made my whole life. You've made me.

Servants Looking to the Hands of Their Master

Okay, so this is the coolest thing. I love blogs, b/c I learn so much from what other people learn! It's great to share "food" like this. I hope you enjoy what my friend Chris H. had to say about this verse. I want to learn to be attentive, receptive, and ready to move when the hand of the Lord even so much as flinches...read on, friends....

To You I lift up my eyes, O You who are enthroned in the heavens! Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, As the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress, So our eyes look to the LORD our God, Until He is gracious to us. Psalm 123:1-2

I ran across these verses yesterday on my way to work. The illustration of the hand servant is a great parallel to how we should relate to God. Hand servants (or hand maids) were given special training in the art of serving meals. They established with their masters a system of very discrete hand signals so that the master could direct the service of the meals. This way the master could ensure the highest degree of hospitality. Servants would appear out of nowhere to fill wine just as it was running dry, or bring additional food for someone who was eating quickly. What was invisible to the guests was the process by which this happened. The hand servants were standing just outside the dining room; their eyes were fixed on the hands of the master. Then the servants would see the slightest twitch of the master's right thumb or a small straightening of the left index finger. Instantly the servants would swing into action, doing whatever the master had subtly ordered. No one at the table noticed, but the servants knew exactly what the master wanted. Likewise, our eyes should be so fixed on God that we notice His slightest move and then swing into action.

Pictures!!!

So, I love my friends, my family...what better way to share this than with pictures. I picked out a few fun ones, and will try and post more as this blog progresses. Enjoy!